mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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