i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
