singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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