Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
