We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Let's paint friendship bongs
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
