I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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