she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
