im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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