Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
