im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
