Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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