So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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