so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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