so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i now understand why vodka
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
