The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
