I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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