What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i now understand why vodka
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
