If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
