My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
