somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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