in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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