pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
