he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
