Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
