my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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