i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just pee around me
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
