ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
