Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I can't turn off my feet"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
