I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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