he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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