Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
