I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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