So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
