I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
