She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
