why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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