How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm bleeding and have questions
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
