But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i think my mom watched the whole time
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
