I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Holy shit dude........stairs
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