Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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