Can Purell be used as lube?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
