peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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