Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
try to milk me bitch
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