Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
