im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
whose ass print is on the piano?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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