she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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