ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
