Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Can I color on your dick again?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
