i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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