what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
only you would photoshop your dick
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
