We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
